In the mid-21st century, an intellectual fad known as radical postmodernism swept the ranks of academia in Europe and North America. The radical postmodernists, like their comparatively moderate 20th century progenitors, believed that there was no absolute scientific, mathematical, religious, truth and that all moral points of view were equally valid; but they also extended this to include the belief that any perception of reality, and indeed any philosophy, even (or as critics would say, especially) one containing rather serious internal inconsistencies, was as well equally valid. From this viewpoint it was only a small step to conclude that nothing was real whatsoever, including ideas, physical objects, and life itself. Although this philosophy achieved cult-like status by 2044, it proved to be an unfortunate one from the point of view of its adherents, and several of their number were killed in automobile accidents, poisonings, and similar incidents resulting from its inevitable conflict with reality. That this nihilistic philosophy was ultimately destined to lose its battle with reality eventually became evident even on college campuses, although less by force of argument than by natural selection as its proponents were gradually eliminated from the gene pool.
In the same year, Alia Alitovia, winner of the America-Bashing Triathalon in the 2044 Thule Winter Olympics, was convicted of taking the banned intelligence-reducing medication Mynox, resulting in immediate disqualification. Her gold medal was given instead to the runner-up, Giscard Martin of France. Olympic Director Ullum al-Awasthii said, ``Mynox is a powerful performance-enhancing drug that increases the propensity for gratuitous, content-free America bashing. This drug utilizes the same principle as studying at a four-year liberal arts college, but is much more effective, and as such it clearly violates the rules set forth by the International Olympic Committee. America-bashing is just too easy given their three hundred year history of oppression of women and minorities and their genocide against Indians, blacks, Hispanics, persons of color, gender, shade, hue, chromaticity, texture, and tint, as well as homosexuals, Neanderthals, and the genocide - or speciescide - on a global scale - of the gray whale and the Noble Dinosaur. The are but the epitome of the elite male-dominated capitalist phallocentric oligarchy.''
At this point, an unidentified white foamy substance was reputed to have begun to drizzle out of Mr al-Awasthii's mouth, and he became cross-eyed and turned pale for a few moments. A few seconds later, a smattering of applause broke out as the signs went up: 9.6 ... 9.5 ... 9.4 ... 9.1 ... 9.7. Unfortunately, as an official, al-Awasthii was later disqualified from participating in this popular event.
Traditionally, the Europeans had always excelled at this sport, although few people recognized its strong roots in obscure American institutions where it enjoyed a certain popularity with a chronically disgruntled and alienated population whose propensity for creating self-inflicted bruises was little understood and poorly appreciated by their compatriots. Alitovia would have been the first gold medalist in this event from a non-European country.