Ben Stein's Curious Post-Modernist Adventure
Is the theory of evolution responsible for the Nazi Holocaust?
To scientists, the idea is as ludicrous as the idea that Marie
Curie is responsible for the atomic bomb, the idea that the theory
of gravity is responsible for wiping out the dinosaurs, or the
idea that "2+2=4" is responsible for four-wheel drive.
Hillary's Three O'Clock in the Morning Phone Call
It's three o'clock in the morning and your children are safe
and asleep. But there's a phone in the White House and it's ringing.
Something's happening in the world. But it's not what she expected.
Questions and Answers About Text Messaging
Many people find text messaging to be baffling. In fact, text messaging,
also known as SMS, is very easy.
The Al Gore Effect: Theoretical basis
Recent research has shown that the presence of Al Gore is able to reduce
ambient temperatures by approximately 27.6°C. This phenomenon is termed
the "Al Gore Effect." Various theories about the physical mechanism of this
phenomenon, and its potential usefulness in fighting global warming, are discussed.
Politics in Nature Neuroscience
This week, another inflammatory political article has turned up. Not in
New Republic or Weekly World News as you might expect, but in the
scientific journal Nature Neuroscience. While the article itself is of
limited significance, it's important because it drags the field of
cognitive neuroscience a little closer to the morass of political psychology.
The Prophecies of Bruce de Nostradamus
Bruce de Nostradamus, the younger brother of Michele de Nostradamus, obtained
his predictions from an Apple iPhone that somehow turned up in his villa in
Saint-Rémy-de-Provence in the south of France in August of 1566.
Global Catastrophe Imminent...Poor To Drown In Global
Drought...All Bush's Fault!
Just when you thought cooler heads had prevailed, and all
this global warming stuff had been dismissed as
politically-motivated hysteria, someone releases another
report to the media with even more fantastic predictions about
how we're all going to die because of too much carbon dioxide.
Man Vs. Wilderness in Washington, D.C.
Hi, my name is Grear Bylls. I've climbed to the foot of Mount Everest
and crossed the freezing North Atlantic Ocean in a small, open ocean
liner. Today, I'm going to tell you how to survive in one of
the most hostile wild environments in the world: downtown
Washington, D.C.
The Collected Physics Problems of William
Shakespeare
Problem 1: Shall I compare thee to a summers day?
Predictions for 2007
Start stocking up on dried crackers and salted peanuts. The
coming year (which I predict will be called "2007") will be one
of the most eventful yet.
An Overview of Santa's Advanced Anti-Radar Technology
For years, radar operators at airports have complained about the
difficulty of detecting Santa Claus on radar. But according to
radar experts, the inability of our most advanced radar tracking
systems to detect the red-suited Christmas icon is no accident.
Recap of the News from 2050
PETA protested the military's practice of reprogramming the
brains of live insects to carry nanobombs to targets, referring
once again to its motto 'a bug is a chyld is a persyn'...
Computer Predictions for 2006
A remarkable new computer program has been devised that can predict
news events in the future. We use the program to predict future events
about famous celebrities from Einstein all the way down to Jessica Simpson.
The Thamnophobia Crisis
A new disease has been discovered: thamnophobia, or fear of Bush.
Its diagnostic criteria, possible causes, and treatment modalities
are discussed.
Intelligent Design: Is it a theory?
What is this all about? Is intelligent design really an alternative
to Darwinian evolution? Is it a valid scientific theory?
As scientists we must remain open to all new ideas, no matter
how bizarre. Many scientists have strong religious beliefs.
At the same time, if intelligent design is not a valid scientific
theory we should be honest and say so.
The Cow Theory of Economics
Cow theory is a well-established tool for
understanding basic economic concepts. There are many variations
of this theory on the Internet. Here are some new ones.
How to Build a Biological Weapon
Note: I found this article circulating on the
Internet. Its implications are terrifying! Dear brothers, It's come to
my attention, from reading the news reports circulating in the decadent
imperialistic Western media, that the only factor preventing ...
Psychobabble as motivated political liberalism
A number of my colleagues in academia seem to be confused
about the nature of the two major political forces in America these days. A
particularly egregious example of this was a recent article in the American
Psychological Association's journal Psychological Bulletin ("Political
conservatism as motivated social cognition ...
Duck and Cover
The idea that the only possible outcome of a nuclear conflict would be a
universal holocaust, in which everyone would die, as the movie "Atomic Cafe"
suggests, is simply false.
The Tragic Story of Schrodinger's
Cat
Schrödinger's cat played a critical
role in the early development of quantum mechanics. He is most well known
for his famous thought experiment, in which he postulated that a
measurement made by an observer could determine the outcome of a quantum
event. His paper on the subject, published in 1935 in the prestigious journal
Naturwissenschaften, established his reputation as a first-rate
theoretical physicist.
The Precautionary Principle:
Common Sense or Sloppy Thinking?
In this article, I will discuss several situations that have been
proposed as justifications for the so-called "precautionary principle",
and show that in each case, a risk-benefit analysis produces a superior
result. I will also show that, contrary to what has been claimed, the
precautionary principle is not commonly followed by
responsible public officials, scientists, or law courts, and
argue that it should not be adopted as an element in decision-making.
Smallpox, Indians, and Germ Warfare
The story of the British spreading smallpox as a form of germ
warfare against the American Indians in the years before the
Revolutionary War has received wide attention in recent years.
But is it true or merely politically-inspired disinformation?
Home Enervation and Repair
Some of the regular visitors to this site may have wondered why I have
not written many new articles lately. The reason is that your columnist
has been hard at work resting in order to find an excuse to to avoid
doing much-needed home repairs.
Breaking news: Past tense is invented
Equatorial Africa, 15000 B.C. (ENN) The past tense is invented today,
ending hundreds of centuries of confusion in which people are unable to
determine, other than by context, whether an event described in a newspaper
happens in the present or happens in the distant past.
Cold facts on global warming Updated
What is the contribution of anthropogenic carbon dioxide to global
warming? This question has been the subject of many heated arguments. In
this article, we will consider a simple calculation, based on well-accepted
facts, that shows that the global temperature increase caused by doubling
atmospheric carbon dioxide levels has an upper limit of 1.4-2.7 degrees
centigrade. This result contrasts with the results of the IPCC's climate
models, whose projections are shown to be unrealistically high.
Hillary Clinton (D -- LV-426)
Okay, you already know most of the story: They welded the doors shut to keep her out.
Acid for blood.
What car would Jesus really drive?
This week, an organization called the "National Religious Partnership
for the Environment" has started a national campaign to make people
feel guilty for driving SUVs. The centerpiece of this campaign is the
slogan, "What would Jesus drive?". This, of course, has driven people
into paroxysms of laughter ...
What is happening to our puppets?
The only thing preventing puppets from committing crimes against
humanity, genocide, or even a second Holocaust is their lack of ability to
formulate ideas, hold opinions, and to move or act independently.
Atheists in foxholes
We atheists have changed our minds about foxholes. Right now, they
look pretty good. The news media, the Senate, and religious conservatives
are giving us quite a beating about that crazy ruling ...
The High-Tech World of Usama bin Laden
We haven't heard much from the media recently about Usama bin Laden.
So where is old Usama these days? The military, of course, is constantly
checking his mailbox for change-of-address cards for his subscriptions
to Jihad News and Shahid Death to the Satanic Infidels Report ...
Biochemistry as Portrayed in the Movies
Many people have pointed out that phenomena in the movies are unrealistic
from a physics standpoint. For example, gas tanks cars would never explode
with the evident ease that they do in the movies. Cars also don't flip over
for no reason. Bullets, even if they are steel-jacketed, don't make sparks.
And explosions can't be heard in the vacuum of space.
However, as far as I know, no one has mentioned the movie stunts that
break all the laws of biochemistry. If anything, these offenses against
the laws of nature are even more improbable than the physics mistakes.
We Will Control the Horizontal.
The British press may have finally gone off the deep end. With a scare
article in last week's The Economist, a left-of-center
news magazine that is normally a bastion of reason and moderation,
the editors have taken time out from predicting the imminent bursting of
America's economic bubble to ruefully inform the world that neuroscientists
are feverishly developing ...
Physics envy among biologists: fact or fiction?
Physicists often state their belief that all biologists would rather be
physicists, but became biologists only because they were not very good
at math. Why, physicists ask, do biologists seem unable to utilize such simple
concepts as the Riemannian-Christoffel curvature tensor or Galois fields in their
work?
Introduction to Quantum Thermo-Epistemology
This manuscript describes some of our recent findings in the exciting
new field of quantum thermo-epistemology, a branch of implausibility
theory dealing with fundamental questions such as: Why does toast always
land butter-side down? ...